NEW YORK, FROM THE LIGHTING RIG ABOVE A TELEVISION STUDIO — After millennia of granting wishes, Azrak appeared on national television Monday to clarify whether people are allowed to wish for more wishes.
“No, no, and for the billionth time, no,” he said.
Azrak said the rule has existed for centuries but continues to be challenged by people who believe they have discovered a loophole.
“They always think they’re the first person to try that,” he said. “I was getting this in Mesopotamia.”
According to Azrak, requests for additional wishes now account for the majority of disputes between genies and their clients.
“They always look very pleased with themselves right before they say it,” he said. “Like I’m about to be devastated.”
When the host asked whether wishing for another genie, wishing for the three-wish limit to disappear, or wishing for the ability to grant oneself additional wishes would be permitted, Azrak shook his head.
“All the same wish.”
The host then suggested asking for just three more wishes instead of an infinite number.
Azrak stared at him.
“No.”
The genie said his work has increasingly consisted of people attempting to negotiate the wording of wishes.
“If your sentence begins with ‘technically,’ I already know where this is going.”
Azrak confirmed that wishes involving money, love, revenge, fame and physical transformation remain available under standard terms.
He also confirmed that making an ex miserable is still permitted.
“That one’s very popular.”
Azrak left the studio without taking additional questions.
Later Monday, a man who wished for infinite wealth was given a second job.
