Hockey may have finally crossed a line—or completely fried it. A startup claims it has invented a revolutionary device that lets fans “motivate” players on their team with a mild electric shock every time they miss a pass, skip a backcheck, or fire a weak shot straight into the goalie’s chest. The product, called ShockHockey, promises to “bring fans closer to the action,” which is also, according to several lawyers, a creative way of describing assault.
Early tests reportedly produced mixed results. During one power play, a winger received 327 “motivational boosts” in 14 seconds before skating in circles, screaming, and passing the puck to the mascot. Coaches say the device has completely destroyed bench management. “I used to worry about line changes,” one exhausted coach said. “Now I’ve got 18,000 angry dads with remotes trying to electrocute my second line.” The company defended the product by noting that the premium version includes a ‘Do Not Shock the Best Player’ setting for just $12.99 a month.
