In a celestial twist that’s sending shockwaves through the heavens, sources close to the Almighty have revealed that God has recently adopted artificial intelligence to manage the ever-growing complexities of the universe. “I just can’t keep up anymore,” the Divine Being admitted in a rare moment of candor, while nervously adjusting His halo. “These algorithms are mind-boggling. I mean, I created the universe in six days, but this AI stuff? It’s another level.”
Angelic beings, usually the epitome of calm and serenity, have reported a noticeable shift in the heavenly atmosphere. “He’s been pacing around the Pearly Gates, muttering about machine learning and neural networks,” confided Gabriel, Chief Messenger Angel, who’s been increasingly tasked with fetching manuals and AI for Dummies books. “Last week, He accidentally blessed a toaster thinking it was a server. It’s been… tense.”
The Almighty’s foray into technology hasn’t gone unnoticed by the mortal realm either. “I prayed for wisdom and received an automated response,” complained one bewildered believer. “It suggested I clear my cache and try praying again.” Meanwhile, other deities from various pantheons have offered their support. “Zeus texted me a link to a coding bootcamp,” God revealed, adding, “I didn’t have the heart to tell him I invented coding.”
In a bid to boost morale, the archangels organized a heavenly hackathon, but the event ended abruptly when a seraphim accidentally triggered a divine bug, turning water into wine across several galaxies. “We’re still cleaning up that mess,” sighed Raphael, the Archangel of Healing, now doubling as tech support. As the Creator grapples with His creation’s creations, the heavens hold their breath, awaiting the next software update from the cosmos’ first and foremost Programmer.
