“Folks, tonight I’m gonna tell the last joke ever. After this, it’s all taxes and weather reports. Forever.” Nervous laughter rippled across the room.
In the frostbitten depths of Minnesota, inside the dim glow of The Chuckling Moose, a moment of human history quietly detonated. Benny Johansson, still rocking his nightly jean jacket like it’s 1993, stood under the spotlight, the weight of comedic history resting on his shoulders. The room, packed with an eclectic mix of locals and tourists, fell into a hush.
As the news spread like wildfire, reactions from around the globe varied from bewildered acceptance to outright disbelief. In Paris, ex-comic Marie-Claire Dubois sat outside a café, chain-smoking and whispering “merde” to no one. “We’ve told every joke. Now we must confront the void left by the absence of humor. Maybe seriousness will lead to deeper joy. Maybe?”
In Tokyo, former sitcom star Haruto Tanaka shut down his comedy club and transformed it into a robotics dojo overnight. “No more jokes,” he said. “Time to build things.” In the bustling tech hub of Bangalore, software engineer Priya Singh offered a pragmatic perspective. “Jokes helped us cope. Now we must face reality. Maybe we deserved it.”
When the punchline landed, people laughed harder than they had in years. Not because it was the funniest joke ever told—although it involved a penguin, a priest, and a sentient vending machine—but because they knew it would be the last. Laughter ricocheted off the walls like rubber bullets. Some clapped. Others wept. Exceptionally, the comedy bar closed its doors before midnight and announced that it would be this way from now on, because, as general manager Katie expressed before flipping the ‘CLOSED’ sign on the door window, “Time to work now. Party’s over.”
From that moment on, a new era dawned. Governments worldwide issued statements urging citizens to maintain a stern demeanor at all times. Comedy clubs were swiftly repurposed into think tanks and problem-solving workshops. Television networks replaced sitcoms with documentaries on quantum physics and agricultural reform. Social media, once a breeding ground for memes and witty banter, transformed overnight into a platform for exchanging solutions to global crises. “Every absurd situation has been duly noted and laughed about,” declared the United Nations in a global directive. “That’s enough laughing now. It’s time to get serious.” And with that, humanity marched into a future devoid of punchlines, armed only with determination and the haunting memory of that final, fateful joke.
