MONTREAL — Local man Jeff Thompson, 28, reportedly developed an invention capable of ending world hunger, reversing climate change, saving millions of lives and making him a billionaire Thursday night during a smoke session with friends.
“It was all there,” Thompson said. “The whole thing. Perfect.”
Witnesses confirmed Thompson spent nearly two minutes explaining why the invention would fundamentally alter human civilization.
“He was talking Nobel Prizes,” said friend Steve Miller. “At one point he said it was bigger than the wheel. Then he corrected himself and said it was more like the wheel, sliced bread and electricity combined.”
According to those present, the breakthrough was lost when Thompson briefly looked at his phone after receiving a notification.
“He watched one meme,” Miller said. “Maybe five seconds.”
When Thompson looked up, the invention had vanished completely from his memory.
“I remember knowing exactly how it worked,” Thompson said. “I just don’t remember what it was.”
Friends spent the next 40 minutes attempting to reconstruct the idea from fragments including “something with magnets,” “probably an app,” and the phrase “no, no, this changes everything.”
The group eventually abandoned the effort after someone suggested ordering nachos.
Experts estimate humanity will now have to continue as usual.
