Science & Technology
-
Human Searching for Pizza Place in L.A. Instantly Crashes Entire AI Traffic System
Los Angeles ground to a complete halt Tuesday after a single unassisted human—identified only as “Bob, 47, hungry”—attempted to find a pizza place on his…
-
Fountain of Youth Discovered in Teenagers’ Urine
NEW YORK — In a groundbreaking study that has left the scientific community both stunned and mildly nauseated, researchers announced Tuesday that urine from intoxicated…
-
Helium Secures Top Spot After Intense Lobbying Campaign
GENEVA — In a historic reshuffling that’s rocked the chemical community, the International Periodic Table Rankings Association (IPTRA) announced Monday that helium has officially overtaken…
-
God Turns to AI: “I Know Everything, Just Not All at Once”
Heaven has quietly integrated artificial intelligence into divine operations, with God Himself acknowledging its usefulness. “Of course I know everything,” He said. “But sometimes, when…
-
PETAV: “Vegetables Have Rights Too!”
In a move nobody asked for, the newest radical advocacy group, PETAV (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and Vegetables), stormed the dietary ethics…
